Siblings, family dynamics and relationships

Here are some tips on how to support the siblings in your family.

• Listen to your child's feelings about their sibling's medical situation. They might feel happy and proud at times, but also sad, embarrassed, annoyed or confused. All of these feelings are normal.
• Let your children know that it’s okay to ask questions and share their feelings. It is helpful to be truthful and to answer their questions in words they can understand.
• Encourage your children to spend time together. If one child is in hospital or away for treatment they can connect through drawings, cards, messages, or phone calls.
• Teach your children about different ways of communicating with their siblings. This will help them understand each other better.
• Involve your other children in hospital visits or appointments (when appropriate) to help them better understand their sibling's medical condition. For younger children it can be helpful to read books about going to the hospital and play "hospital" or "doctor" games.
• Where possible, try to spend quality time with each of your children. This can be planned (e.g. doing some drawing together, going for a walk to the park), or unplanned (having a sing-along or good conversation in the car) and will look different for every family.

Connecting with friends and other siblings in similar situations can help your children to share their experiences and learn that they are not alone. See below for ideas on how to keep your child connected.

• Online or in-person peer support groups for siblings of children with disability are a great way for your children to connect with others. These groups often run through disability organisations, local councils or young carer support services.
  • Livewire is an online community linked to the Starlight Foundation. It is designed to connect and support children aged 12 and older who live with illness/disability (and their siblings).
  • For more peer support information and links, see Siblings Australia.
• Encourage your children to join activities or groups in the community (e.g. a sports team, music group, volunteer organisation). It will help them to feel like they belong and are important.
• Tell your children's teachers about your family's situation. This will help them to keep an eye out and give extra support at school if needed.

For siblings who are carers

For more specific support for siblings who are involved with caring for their brother/sister with complex medical needs, Little Dreamers Australia has a number of programs and supports. More information can be found here: Little Dreamers Australia.

Siblings of children with medical needs or disabilities may sometimes feel difficult emotions that can affect how they act. Sometimes, these feelings don't go away, and it can start to affect other parts of their lives. Watch out for signs that show their mental health might be affected. These signs could include:

More information and tips for supporting siblings of medically complex children can be found below:

• Support for siblings of people with disability in Australia - Siblings Australia
• 8 tips for supporting siblings - Kindred
• How to harness the strength of the sibling - Kindred
• For siblings of sick kids | Sydney Children's Hospitals Network
• Siblings of children with disability | Raising Children Network

Taking care of a child with complex medical needs can be both rewarding and challenging. As a parent it can be easy to become overwhelmed with caring responsibilities and not have any time to look after yourself. This can be true for single parent families as well as families with more than one parent/carer.

Practical and emotional support

To avoid "burn out" and look after your own wellbeing, it is important to seek practical and emotional support from your friends, family, GP, councillor or existing support agencies. Visit the Raising Children Network for more information about why support is important and where to get it.

Peer support options

• MyTime is an organisation that runs free online, topic-based support discussions for parents of children with disability. For more information, click here: MyTime - Supporting parents and carers of children with disability.
• Carer Gateway has both virtual and in-person peer support and counselling options for people who identify as carers. For information on peer support options click here: Peer support groups | Carer Gateway. For counselling services, click here: In-person and phone counselling | Carer Gateway
• To find local peer support options in your area, speak with your child's healthcare team or existing service providers.

Friends can play a big role in your support network during challenging times. To help your friends to support you, you can:

• Give them specific ideas on how they can help (e.g. making dinner, taking the child's sibling to soccer practice).
• Let them know your preferred way of staying in contact, whether it's through phone calls, texts, or face-to-face visits.
• Share resources that can help them better understand your child's needs and the experiences and challenges your family is going through.

Source Kids has a list of ways that friends can support families of children who have recently been diagnosed with a condition. To access the list, see here: Source Kids.

Sometimes friends or people who do not understand your situation well may say the wrong thing without meaning to. Click here for a helpful resource on responding to unhelpful comments: Child disability: people’s reactions | Raising Children Network.